I finally made it to the top
It wasn’t as lonely as I thought
Like a screen door the wind passes through
people blow through me now like I always hoped they would do
Hollywood gambles in dreams and flesh
I was craved and carved up like the rest
A scarecrow dressed in second-hand clothes
with memorized lines and a messianic pose
No, you couldn’t stop me, Mama
Nobody could have saved me
My heart was broken anyhow
It was the only kind they gave me
You’d be surprised what a little make-up can do
I disappear, that’s my gift to you
But in a blue motel room where somebody died
next to a stain so plain they dared not hide it
I stashed a love letter in a drawer with no key
beside a bible and a map of the stars who burned out before me
And there’s a gold box of matches
with the number for the front desk
and the motto ‘Don’t you deserve the perfect rest?’
And there's a black-and-white photo
that I’ve taped to the mirror
and when I’m ready to go, I’ll leave him here
Now they’re casting the role of the great magician
who escaped handcuffs and chains with only flimsy illusions
I could read for the part or just send them this journal
I’ve been coughing up blood since sometime in April
But you couldn’t stop me, Mama
Nobody could have saved me
My heart was broken anyhow
It was the only kind they gave me
You’d be surprised what a little lighting can do
I disappear, that’s my gift to you
credits
from Songs from a Stolen Guitar,
released May 20, 2022
All songs by Simon Joyner
Cowardly Traveller Music, BMI
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